Speaking on a panel in San Diego about lessons learned from Afghanistan and Iraq, the general apparently began talking about being on the right side of the issues such as defending women in Afghanistan who had been brutalized by the Taliban, but the words he used were that it was "fun to shoot some people."

Whatever other lessons the general and others learned that we might benefit from were lost, as the "shoot them" comment went worldwide, was featured in countless headlines and occasioned endless tsk-tski ng by columnists. Typical of the sneering comments was Adam Brookes' of the BBC who noted that, "General Mattis is a hardened veteran of combat and appears to have developed a taste for it."

Most of the reporting portrayed the general as a blood-thirsty, weapon wielding, blood-in-his-eyes escapee from some violent video game.

The military handled the story perfectly. Others familiar with General Mattis immediately jumped in and defended him, so their quotes got into the reports. Marine Corps Commandant, General Michael Hagee said, "General Mattis is a superb leader and one of the Corps most courageous and experienced warriors." Another Marine General pointed out, "The last three times the general has been in combat... his actions and those of his troops clearly show that he understands the value of proper leadership and the value of human life."

The focus of this column isn't on how to handle "stupid mouth" when it occurs, but about how to prevent it.

First, our concept of "good" and "bad" words would have served the General well. A "good" word is one you want the listener to pass on. A "bad" word is the opposite. The problem with "bad" words is that they crowd out the "good" ones, or in this case, whatever the General thought we should be talking about as a lesson learned from the past two years. This simple division saves a good deal of embarrassment.

The next step of the process is whether the people around you can help you. Someone should have immediately said to the general, "We all know what you mean, but I'm sure you'd like to take the opportunity to express it differently." That trigger would have - should have - immediately caused the general to say, "Of course, what I meant is that there's a camaraderie among warriors that can't be described to those who aren't, and in Afghanistan, we could feel good that we were doing the right t hing for the right reason - and damn that's fun."

That might have saved Trent Lott his status as Majority Leader when he praised Strom Thurmond in December 2002 saying the country would have been better off if Thurmond had been elected President. It took a few days for people to point out that in 1948 Thurmond was running on a platform of separatism and anti-civil rights.

Next, nothing's private. There's always a video camera somewhere. General Harold Campbell was caught on tape in 1993 before making his speech, joking that President Clinton was a "gay loving, pot smoking, draft dodging, womanizer." He apologized and was forced to resign.

The most remarkable example of this was when an amateur videographer caught the Concorde on July 25, 2000 taking off from Charles de Gaulle airport and exploding on take-off. How did he know to be there? He didn't. But there's someone everywhere -- with a video camera.

One of the fascinating things to me is how often "stupid mouth" comments are really the exact opposite of what the speaker actually believes, and I'll bet this is the case in General Mattis' situation. I still remember a personal situation where I used a slur - which just came out of my mouth - unfortunately in front of someone from the indicated group. He pointed out the inappropriateness of my comment, and I was mortified. My own beloved father once commented that "women didn't belong at Yale." I pointed out to him that he was on the local interviewing committee and was aggressively pushing women candidates. He looked at me very surprised.

Finally -- to the journalists living in glass houses. Let's give the "gotcha" stuff a rest. The main reason? At that panel when the general spoke, there were probably very important lessons for citizens and taxpayers from our troops' experience over the past two years, but none of those got reported.

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