And until three months ago, it was carried out in private, without any cameras allowed and often without relatives present.

Starting in March, the US Defense Department lifted a ban on media coverage of the flag-draped coffins being carried off aircraft at Dover air base in Delaware, and left it up to military families to decide if cameras and journalists could record the event.

And so far the vast majority of families of soldiers killed in Iraq or Afghanistan have chosen to allow media coverage of what the military refers to as "dignified transfers."

Since the policy was changed, 49 out of 70 families opted for media coverage of the return ceremony, Air Force Captain Heather Garrett at Dover air base, the site of the military's largest mortuary, told AFP.

The Defense Department had defended the media ban as a way of safeguarding the privacy of grieving families.

But for those who fought to change the policy, which had been in place since 1991, the response of the families comes as no surprise.

"I'm thrilled" about the new rules, said Karen Meredith, who lost her son in the Iraq war five years ago. "To me it was a misplaced, misguided policy."

Immediately after she learned of her only child's death on Memorial Day in 2004, Meredith said she asked repeatedly for a photo documenting his return to the United States.

But she was told it was against military regulations and that it would be an invasion of "family privacy" -- even though she was his mother.

"I had pictures of his deployment in Iraq, I have baby pictures, I have school pictures. And this was an important part of the end of his life and I never got those pictures," she said from her home in Mountain View, California.

Along with ending the prohibition on media coverage, the Pentagon also now offers to pay for any family that wishes to travel to Dover to attend the return ceremony for their relative.

Since the new rules were introduced, the overwhelming majority of families -- 55 out of 70 -- have chosen to come to Dover to witness the return of their loved one.

Images of honor guards carrying out coffins from the bellies of military transport planes became a symbol of the Vietnam War, and a graphic reminder of the mounting death toll.

Military officials were anxious to avoid reminders of the divisive Vietnam conflict and beginning under former president George H.W. Bush, cameras were prohibited from the ceremony.

Ex-president George W. Bush renewed the ban and was accused of trying to hide the human cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, which have claimed the lives of nearly 5,000 American soldiers.

When Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced a change in policy in February, he said the military remained divided over the issue but that he had concluded the decision had to rest with each family.

For many parents, spouses and siblings, media coverage offers a way of commemorating the life of their loved one, and sharing that loss with their hometown and the rest of the country, said Ami Neiberger-Miller, spokeswoman for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), which offers help for bereaved military families.

"I think the reason why families opt for media coverage is they do see it as a way to honor their loved one's service and sacrifice," said Neiberger-Miller, whose brother, Christopher Neiberger, was killed by a roadside bomb in Baghdad in August 2007.

At Arlington national cemetery outside the US capital, a large majority of families also have consented to media coverage of burial ceremonies for soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, she said.

A Pentagon spokesman said that the numbers so far at Dover show the new policy strikes the right balance, not that the old approach was wrong-headed.

"There are still a significant number of families that say no" to media coverage, said Bryan Whitman.

"What it tells us is the secretary's sense on this was right, that you have to leave this up to the family members," Whitman said.

Watching the footage of the first televised return ceremony in 18 years in March, Meredith said she had her dead son, Lieutenant Ken Ballard, in mind.

"I watched that night when Sergeant Phillip Myers came home. To me in a way that was Ken's homecoming that I never got," she said, breaking down in tears.

"What was the big deal? I just wanted that picture."

She said it was vital that the deaths of American soldiers not go unnoticed.

"People in this country need to know that men and women are still serving overseas in harm's way and some of them are still coming home in a box."

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